Two scary forms

So in the last entry about the adoption I said I would tell you more about two additional forms we had to fill out for our home study. On the first one we had to put down our preferences of sex, age, and number of children. The easiest part for us was the sex of the child. We do not have a preference. We are open to either a boy or a girl. In Russia, there are more boys waiting to be placed than there are girls. The next questions to deal with were whether or not we were open to more than one child (aka a sibling group) and in what age range. Much discussion, thought, and prayer went into answering both of these questions. Children in Russia must be in their database for at least nine months before they are available for international adoption. So in reality the youngest our child would be is about twelve months old. Determining the upper end of the range was difficult for us. Time spent in an orphanage can/will lead to development delays. We had to decide at what age we felt confident we could accept the child’s challenges and be able to help him or her make up for those delays. There is no magical number. This decision is different for each family. So in the end this is what we came up with. Our home study reads, “Justin and Heather would like to adopt a single child from Russia, either gender, 30 months of age or younger, with no or minor correctable medical needs. They are also open to adopting a sibling group, of either gender, 36 months of age or younger, with no or minor correctable medical needs.”

The second form to tell you about is one that is several pages long, and it is a checklist. You have to go through and mark will accept, will consider, will not accept for a wide variety of medical conditions. It ranges anywhere from near and farsightedness to cleft palate, cerebral palsy, etc… This was completely agonizing. First of all Justin and I had to google several of the terms because we didn’t know what they really meant. Then we felt like we were being judgmental and shallow. We are talking about a child. How can you say you ‘won’t accept’ any child? When you give birth to a child you take all that God gives you packaged in that little bundle. With adoption, you will still be taking on all that God gives, but it is like you are putting parameters on it. It was really a very humbling process. Justin and I both finally told ourselves that we had to be realistic. What do we really think our family can handle? We know that no matter what, there will be challenges that we have not prepared for. Isn’t that the case for parenting in general though?

Learn to expect the unexpected.

Columbus Day

Well I had big plans for today since I didn’t have to work. I thought for sure I would make tons of progress on this blog, email friends back, work on bills, etc… and wouldn’t you know it our internet connection was down. So instead of having time to get a meaningful entry put together, I am now tired and worn out from the day’s activities. Can I just tell you though that I am in love with another man right now??? His name is Christopher Columbus! What an awesome holiday! There are really no obligations on this day for us (perhaps I’m not being patriotic enough). Brady, Madison, and I were productive around the house – thanks again to no internet access. We also took time to play a game together. This is a game Brady’s friend Grant gave him for his birthday called Banangrams. I would highly recommend it to anyone with kids old enough to spell four to five letter words. We had a great time and even challenged Justin to a game when he came home from the fields. All four of us agreed that we would not play with Grandma Cindy. Brady says she would spank us! The coolest thing for me though was a realization that I had in the middle of our second game. I was playing a game against Brady – for real. Not Chutes and Ladders or Candy Land where everything is about luck. This was actually a game that required strategy. Granted I had to help him a few times and tell him he could NOT spell wiz and poo but still. He is just getting to be so big and mature! While it is exciting on one hand, it is scary and disheartening on the other.

I also thought I would share a couple of pictures with you. On Sunday nights we host a small group in our house for a book study which of course involves food as well. This week we decided to do Halloween themed food. On the menu was Cat Litter Casserole, Beans and Wormies, Mummy Dogs, Creepy Peepers, Spider Cookies, and Scardy Cat Cheese Ball.

We got such a kick out of the Cat Litter Casserole. (I hear we're glad Steve wasn't able to make it!)


Madison got her ears pierced this weekend for her birthday!

Paper pregnancy begins

The paperwork that must be gathered is really quite phenomenal for adoptions. The process has been affectionately called the paperwork pregnancy to help you keep in mind that behind every document and signature the end goal is a child. The first meeting with Carole on May 29th was pretty much to make sure that we fully understood the paperwork that is required, the risks that are involved, etc… We left with tons of information and a list of documents that we needed to gather. Justin and I did not waste any time getting started. I’ll give you a rundown of what was required. Keep in mind that this is only about half of what is needed in the end. Many of these documents have to be notarized, and several of them we will have the pleasure of redoing since they can not be dated more than a year old when we travel to Russia! Sooo here is a partial rundoen of the list…

Autobiography written by each of us – very detailed
Birth certificates, marriage licenses, passports
Medical reports and physicals for all four of us
Blood and TB test for Justin and I
Financial statement prepared by CPA, tax return, and employment letters
Guardian information – in the event that something happens to Justin and I
Background checks from the police department
Mandatory reporter paper
Pet records (yes, we had to prove that our dog Annie is vaccinated)
Well water test (do they think we would be drinking the water if it was unsafe!)
Proof of education (this is adoption education)
Floor plan of our home
Corporal Punishment form
Several other forms as well in which you write your address a hundred times

Then there are the two 'whooper' major forms. These are the ones that I feel are the most important. Justin and I prayed about the content of these forms before we allowed our pen to even touch them. The first is where you determine the age and sex of the child you are open to adopting. The second is called the Child Checklist. I’ll tell you about those in the next posting.

A cute lil side note. We surprised Madison for her birthday this morning with a little Betta fish. She absolutely adores all animals, and Justin and I thought a Betta was the most manageable pet we could handle right now (a lil pathetic I know!). She was soooo excited. Below is a picture of her cute tank. She named the fish Squirmy. I promised her I’d post his picture. Brady however was a little less excited for her and has nicknamed Squirmy the No Fair Fish. In fact he told his teacher, grandma, and aunt that Madison got a No Fair Fish today. Boy he sure has it rough! lol

CIS not CSI

CIS is the department of Citizenship and Immigration Services. On May 24th we sent in our application to CIS (I-600A) along with our fee and payment for biometric fingerprints (more on the fingerprinting saga later). This is basically a paper that says to the government that at some point in time we will be adopting a child from Russia. We don’t know their age, sex, or any other information, but we know that the government takes forever for approval so we are doing this pre-paperwork so that when we do the REAL paperwork it won’t take so long. This part gets really complicated. Anyway I wanted to get that date on the blog.

On Tuesday, May 27th we got a call from our new social worker from LifeLink. Her name is Carole Willadsen and we adore her. She is so friendly, knowledgeable, and understands our need to keep things moving. For those of you that know Julie Nuss (Russell) she reminds us a lot of her. She wanted to know when we could meet her and start getting our visits in. Ummm how about tomorrow I thought?!?! I didn’t want to wait at all. Well she needed us to get fingerprints before coming to our first meeting. This would be for DCFS approval even though we weren’t really going to be approved as foster parents. What?!?! This is so confusing. First of all these fingerprints are different than the ones we just send money to CIS for and what was she talking about DCFS for? Well it turns out that in the state of Illinois in order to get your homestudy approved for adoption you go through the process as if you are going to be approved as a foster parent and then your name is withdrawn at the last part of the process so you aren’t actually on ‘the list’. Ok, so where can we get these prints done? Well low and behold God opens yet another door for us! The very next day in Macomb, on WIU’s campus, they were going to have their last fingerprinting station set up. They usually do this for pre-service teachers and whoever else needs them. How cool is that?!?! So Tuesday we were introduced to Carole on the phone, on Wednesday we were fingerprinted for DCFS approval, and then on Thursday we had our first meeting in Peoria with Carole. The ball was really rolling fast ---- for awhile….

Happy Birthday Madison

It seems unreal that Madison is 6 years old already! She shares this birthday with my sister Glennda and my cousin's daughter Caitlyn. Happy Birthday ladies!

Homestudy

The purpose of this blog is to document the adoption journey for ourselves, friends, and family. I also think that it is a way to educate people about the Russian international adoption process through our experiences. So here we go…
I had mentioned earlier that we had to find an agency other than CHI to do our homestudy. A homestudy for adoption is the same as the homestudy for being a foster parent. You basically meet with a social worker, provide a billion documents, and have your home inspected to make sure you are fit to be parents (never mind the fact that we have two healthy and happy children in our home currently). So any way you hope to have a social worker that is not only competent but one that is also friendly and trustworthy as he/she will know more about you than many of your closest friends. After making some phone calls and speaking with a family in Macomb that recently completed an adoption from Vietnam, we decided to use LifeLink which has offices in Peoria and the Quad Cities. We sent our application to them on May 19th. As a quick side note, on Sunday, May 18th Justin and I contacted the people that would be asked to write letters of reference for us. It was fun and surprisingly emotional to share our news with close friends, but it is a good thing we did. Three days later on May 21st our references got forms from LifeLink to fill out on our behalf.

Telling Grandparents

To continue with our story, Justin and I decided it was time to tell a few people of our decision to adopt. On Mother’s Day, May 11, we told my parents and the following day Justin told his parents. Their reaction was not quite what we had expected. I guess since we were so excited we just thought they would be too. Well they were taken back a little by the announcement. My parents are always supportive of our decisions and just trust that Justin and I will do what we think is best for our family. They hadn’t quite expected international adoption to be in our plans, but they knew that we would probably expand our family in the near future. Justin’s parents are also supportive. They had lots of questions for him. I guess we should have expected that. After all we also had tons of questions, and we had a couple of months to wrestle with our thoughts. We were expecting them to be completely accepting of the idea in less than five minutes. This probably wasn’t to fair of us. I have no doubt that while our parents worry about our decisions, they will love their new grandson/granddaughter in their own unique way.