What had we done!?!

After sending in our first payment and days began to pass, doubt started coming back into our minds. We began to immediately hit roadblocks and things started to get complicated once again. We needed to find another agency to assign us a social worker that would work with us to do our home study (I’ll explain later) since these require face to face visits and CHI is out of St. Louis. Macomb, IL isn’t the most populous area so we had to start with who would actually come to Macomb to help us out. We read how important it was to have a qualified social worker assigned to your case. How will we know if a person is qualified? We kept moving forward, but for each step we took forward we took about two more steps back. Did we mention that many of the agencies charged extra for Russian adoptions because of all of the paper work involved. Could this be real? Anyway, bottom line was that on May 1st Justin and I sat at the kitchen table and asked, if this is meant to be why is it sooo hard? Why, God, did you lead us down this path and then put up these monumental roadblocks that filled us with doubt? How does this faith stuff work anyway? What were we doing wrong? Well lucky for us (we thought), CHI has a small window of opportunity for couples to change their mind after sending in their first payment. If you change your mind within the first so many days, you can get your money back and you don’t have to move forward. With heavy hearts, Justin and I went to bed that night thinking that the next day I would send an email to our CHI representative to tell her what we had decided…