Random thoughts and answers to questions

Please forgive me for the randomness of this post. I am typing it in the car trying to utilize every spare moment possible. I first want to start by saying that if any of these posts come across as complaining, please know that we are just overwhelmed or tired. We do not want to complain in the least as we are so thankful for God’s timing and blessings in our life. We just have to learn to adjust to His timeline, and even more difficult – I have to realize that I cannot control all of the events in the upcoming weeks.

We are not sharing the referral picture now. It is not recommended that we do that. But I will tell you that the lil guy does not have blonde hair and blue eyes as many think of Russian children. He actually has dark hair and dark brown eyes. Quite an adorable picture! It is our prayer that all is well with the referral and none of the million and one things that could go wrong actually do.

We should be able to update our blog while we are gone. The hotel and surrounding areas are supposed to have internet access. We do not know exactly how busy we will be and how we will adjust to the 16 hour time difference so we’ll do our best to keep everyone in the loop. Justin says I didn’t handle the 5 hour time change to Hawaii for our honeymoon very well so he isn’t holding out much hope for me! He says if the entries are crazy it is because he is trying to post for us while I am passed out.

Tomorrow is Justin’s birthday. We are going to have my parents and his parents over for dinner and go through Brady and Madison’s schedule. We are so fortunate to have family and friends so close to us. They will do their best to keep up the routine will we are gone. Justin has tried to remind me that it is ok if Madison’s outfits don’t match or if Brady’s hair is standing on its end for school. Moms just worry about these things I guess. They are both very excited. They seem to understand what is going on. We have told Madison several times we will not get to bring her brother home with us this trip. She says she knows that, but then she tells people that we are going to Russia to get her baby brother. They are such big hearted children! We have done our best to prepare them that something may not work out all while trying hard not to squash their excitement and anticipation.

Right now Justin and I are working frantically to make packing lists, shopping lists, to-do lists, etc… We belong to a yahoo email group for adoptive parents through Children’s Hope. We have been able to posts travel questions on there and get quick responses from people who have gone before us. It really is a great online support group. We have had two couples contact us that they will be in Vlad the same time we are and in the same hotel. This is their second trip so they will be able to give us good advice.

Right now we are most freaking out about our visas. We of course cannot travel without them and Thanksgiving slowed down processing because everything was closed. Supposedly our passports will arrive to the agency on Monday. They will do same day processing and overnight passports and visas back to us. They seem to think we will have them in our possession on Tuesday. I sure hope so. That is making me nauseous! Lots of last minute details to take care of for work too. So needless to say we are running like crazy right now. But we know it will all work out.

Tonight we are going to try to purchase our Christmas tree and get that decorated so it will be up for Brady and Madison to enjoy. Thank you all for your continued support. It really means a lot to us!

Dates

Only have a quick second, but we got a call this morning with our travel dates! We will more than likely be leaving on December 4th. We will either meet the little guy the afternoon of the 8th or on the 9th. We should probably arrive back in Macomb on December 13th. Sooooo much to do so little time. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. We have a lot to be thankful for!

Few details

So as you can imagine we are completely overwhelmed right now. However, I want to be careful not to complain. We are so grateful that God feels we are ready to move forward with our journey. We may know tomorrow when our travel dates are. I am trying not get my hopes up too high. Justin and I both have to admit that we already feel a connection with this little guy just from the photo and small bit of information that we have. So earlier we were complaining that things have begun to move too quickly and now we are complaining that they can’t move fast enough. Geeze we really are hard to please! I am finding it very difficult to sleep. My mind is racing all of the time. I want to be with Brady and Madison so they do not feel left out in any way. I want to be organized with work so that things will go smoothly while I am gone. We want to learn about Vlad. I want to know how to speak Russian. I want to know what on earth to pack to travel so far away. The list goes on and on.

Justin and I had an hour and ten minute conversation with Pam from Children’s Hope today. She answered many questions about traveling. We had intended to know a bit more Russian before heading over there. It is a tremendously difficult language to learn, but what language isn’t once you get older! We have ordered a talking Russian-English dictionary so hopefully that will arrive at the beginning of next week. It is also a relief to know that for all of our appointments, orphanage visits, etc we will have a driver, CHI representative (speaks limited English), and a translator. They stick with us for the most part and are very well trained. Many families have gone before us and assure us that we are in good hands.

Tonight my parents came over. We got them signed up for instant messaging and Skype. I want them to practice using it before we leave. I am hoping that the internet will be reliable enough that we can call back home with Skype. What an amazing invention. It was fun to watch them learn to IM. They’ll catch on! Now if we can just get Betty Jo and Lisle on board we should have a good chance at staying in touch with Brady and Maddie at least on a limited basis.

There are so many details I would like to share. I know that we have people reading this blog that are considering adoption, and we have family members that want assurance that things will go well. Time is so limited now. I will try to update more when I catch my bearings.

Thank you so much for your support. It is amazing how people just step up and are willing to help others no matter what inconveniences is causes them. A special thanks to Pam for being Brady’s special guest today at the Thanksgiving presentation. He thought that was great!

I will try to do a brief update tomorrow and let you know if we got travel dates or not. Keep the prayers coming! :o)

Unreal!

I wish I could have a recording of the past 48 hours to put on this blog. It would be much easier than trying to explain the turn of events. I will do my best. Please forgive me if I am rambling or have run-on sentences!

Before leaving Springfield on Friday to drive home after the conference, I called Pam from CHI and informed her of our decision not to travel to see the two boys. She was not at all surprised and commented that not changing the birth order for Brady and Madison is a very good reason to turn down a referral. That is not an adjustment that is easy for many children. She also reassured me that they will find a good home for the boys - that is what they do she said! Don’t worry. So I felt even better that we had come to the right decision. So the rest of the way home from Springfield I was on my cell phone. I spoke with my mom and Justin for quite some time just replaying what had happened. I was really looking forward to getting home, unwinding and having the conversation with Justin face-to-face. We both thought this was a huge reality check for us. We need to be more prepared. If a call can come that quickly we need to get several things in order. We need to be in contact an International Adoption (IA) doctor so that we can have he/she review the medical information when we get a referral. We need to start reading everything we can about the details of traveling. And the list goes on and on.

I then called my dear friend Kate Schaub to catch up on all that has been happening in Pennsylvania. In the midst of that conversation, the other line rings and it is Children’s Hope????? I apologized to Kate and told her I had to take the call. Of course in trying to switch over, I lost the call! Ugh. So I immediately call back and get her voicemail. It was driving me nuts. What could she want? Then my phone rang again and my heart was racing a million beats per minute. Here was the conversation as best as I can remember….

Heather, you are going to think I am nuts, but I wanted to get a hold of you before the weekend. I know this sounds crazy, but we have a three year old boy that just came available in Vladivostock (Vlad). His birthday is September 15th 2005 [date is off slightly]. He is of normal health, mentally healthy, but sometimes has bronchitis. The doctors did not diagnose asthma yet. His tests for HIV, hep, syphilis were all negative. (She then shared just a couple of details of his birthparents). Again, I have a picture if you would like to see him. (Here we go again. I am in a complete state of shock. My stomach was twisting, head was aching, and heart was pounding. I then caught my bearings and began to ask my own questions – ones I had wished I had asked just a couple of hours before).

Why are we getting these referrals? Everything we have read is that this process can take so long to get a referral. Is there something we should know? Should we be suspicious or skeptics of how this is happening? Here is the explanation. .. Right now we are considered unassigned. We have not had our documents registered with a specific region yet (regions in Russia are like our states). And of the people that are unassigned, we are the only ones open to taking a boy up to the age of three. The people that are registered in the Vlad region are either waiting for a girl or are only open to a child 18 months or younger. Once you are assigned a region, that is where you stay. So if a child comes available in another region that meets your ‘criteria’ you are not considered for that child unless a lot of things are done to make that happen. Essentially many of the people waiting to adopt are not open to children over the age of 2 – especially boys.

My next question was why is he just now available? This is harder to answer. We don’t know the exact date of him being placed in the baby home. He could have possibly been there since birth. There are many unknowns here. But in Russia children have to be placed on their national registry for a period of time. In fact only about 7% of children in orphanages are up for adoption because of laws requiring certain things to be in place. Orphanages are often understaffed and there is no one to do the paperwork or to pay fees that are required to have the children registered for adoption. It is quite sad.

I told Pam that I would have to discuss this with Justin and let her know if we wanted her to send the picture. By this time it was already about 4:00 and she leaves the office at 4:30. I called Justin and shared the information. We agreed that based on the information we had so far that we would go ahead and have her send the picture to us. I called Pam back and asked her to send the picture. She reminded me that if we agreed to meet the little guy we could travel in two weeks. We need to call her back the early part of the week and let her know if we agree to travel to meet him!

I could not get home fast enough to see that picture! I used the time in the car to pray. Is this God testing us to see if we can do things according to His will? He knows I am a fanatic about planning and schedules. Is He trying to make me realize that not everything is according to my plan? When I got home Justin gave me a huge hug and I lost it. All of the emotion of the past day and a half was exhausting.

Ok this posting is getting very long. I’ll just get to the point. We have decided that we will call Children’s Hope on Monday and let them know that we would like to travel to meet this little boy. We are so nervous and scared, but we are excited all at the same time. We will update everyone with more specifics as they come available. We would greatly appreciate any prayers you have to offer! We are also open to any advice you have for packing to travel halfway across the world! :o)

Out of left field!

Justin and I have found out are completely unprepared for the decisions that lay ahead of us. We just sent our papers to Moscow a week ago today. We are fully prepared for it to take up to a year before receiving a referral AFTER we have been assigned a region. And again it could take up to four weeks to even be assigned a region. Essentially we should not be hearing anything about the adoption for a couple of weeks at least.

So I have been at a conference in Springfield since Wednesday. Yesterday, I go to my hotel room and check my voicemail. There is a message from Pam with Children’s Hope asking me to call her back as soon as I could. By the tone of her voice I braced myself for some frustrating news about our paperwork – something not signed in the right spot – something missing – some expired date. So I call her and she said… Heather, I called Justin and left him a message as well. I am glad you called back. This may come as a shock to you since you haven’t even been assigned a region yet, BUT we have two boys that we are looking to place. They are brothers. They are a bit older than you had said you are open to, but we wanted to see if you would consider. We don’t have a lot of couples open to sibling groups…. (I began to shake and my stomach started turning! Were our papers even in Moscow yet??? This is unheard of. No one prepared us that this could happen now.) The boys are from the Vladivostock region and their birthdays are July 2001 (7 yrs old) and September 2005 (3 yrs old). Their medicals are being sent but we don’t have them yet. We have a picture of each boy. Would you like me to send them to you? (Pictures?? Ummmmm I don’t know about that?!?!). Some people don’t like to see pictures until they have made a decision one way or another (Whew – great idea. Please don’t send the pictures yet). We understand if this is too much for you to consider right now and the boys are older than you had requested, but we’ll give you some time to digest the information. And one more thing before I let you go, if you and Justin decide to meet the boys you will travel to Russia in two weeks!

So after hanging up, I was in a state of shock. This isn’t how things were supposed to go. God, is this the path you want us to go down? Are these boys hard to place and they are trying to take advantage of Justin and my newness to the system? Is this a defining moment that we are going to miss? If we say no, we are telling two little boys that we don’t want to provide a home for them. This is gut wrenching!

Justin and I spoke on the phone for some time and after getting over the initial shock, we both decided to take some time to pray, think about the events, and see what each of us come up with. Unfortunately time is of the essence because if we say yes to meeting the boys we have to get everything in order. If we say no we need to do so quickly so they can approach another family. Again, I can’t explain how incredibly difficult and unexpected this whole situation is.

So what did we decide? After many text messages, phone calls, praying sessions etc… we have decided that we are going to have to say no. The driving force behind our reasoning is that the 7 year old boy is older than Madison. We are not comfortable with the impact this may have on Brady and Madison. They are prepared for one or two younger brother(s) or sister(s). They are not prepared to have another sibling older than them or in between them. Justin and I feel that we have to respect our current family structure while preparing ourselves for our new additions. We are upset about having to say no to these two little boys, but we do feel a peace with our decision. We would ask each person that reads this blog to lift up these two little boys from Vladivostock, Russia in their prayers. We pray that they find a permanent home soon in a nurturing environment.

Another Video for National Adoption Awareness Month

This tender ballad about adoption will have you reaching for a kleenex, and hopefully will make you think about adoption in a whole new way. Inspired by an interview heard on the radio with Christian recording artist Mark Schultz, this heart-wrenching song was written by Debbie L. Rice. Debbie's father was adopted, and Debbie is also the mother of a little girl adopted from China (from GodTube).

Weekend Recap

Our weekend was exhausting, but everyone had a good time. We headed out for Des Moines, IA around 4:00p.m. on Friday. Before checking into the hotel we went to Justin's cousin's house for dinner. I think we finally got checked in and in bed around 11:00 p.m. Saturday was the big day. Madison and I were on the go basically from 8:00 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. She had dance workshops in the morning and then competition at night. The girls had to stay for the awards ceremony that was held at the end of the night. Her two groups did very well. And her hip hop group won an additional prize for the most entertaining routine in their age bracket. They were VERY excited. Justin and Brady hung out all day going swimming, to a science museum, coffee shop etc... They were quite relaxed compared to Madison and me! So sparing you all the details, Madison had a great time. She was not too impressed with the stage make-up and putting on the obnoxious eye liner. We figured out the trick though... let another mother do it. As long as I wasn't the one trying to apply the eyeliner then it seemed to go on just fine!

Madison's tap routine costume. She just hates getting her picture taken. Can't you tell?!?!?

Madison and her friend Emily after their hip hop routine.

On Sunday we went to church and then the Cheesecake Factory with Justin's cousins and their families. It was great to see them and catch up on everything. We usually only see them once a year. Needless to say, I am still worn out from all of the excitement!

Off they go!

So we got this email today!

Dear Justin and Heather,
I have reviewed your Registration documents and everything is OK. Thank you so much. I am sending your documents to Moscow today, Friday, November 14. They will arrive in a couple of days. Once you are assigned a region by the Moscow office, I will contact you to let you know where that is. Then you will need to start working on Region specific documents. I will guide you through that process when the time comes. Congratulations on completing the next step in the process and let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Sincerely,
Pam Bischoff

My heart raced just reading it. I mean, I knew they were supposed to go out today, but to get the confirmation made me all nervous and excited!

Couple of other random thoughts. Justin and I went with two other couples to see Fireproof last night. It is a totally low budget movie and a bit cheesey, but the message is a good one. I highly recommend it to any married or to-be married couples. Here are a couple of websites that tell you a bit more. Fireproofyourmarriage.com and The Love Dare

Madison has her first dance competition this weekend in Des Moines. Hopefully I will get some pictures to post on here. Have a great weekend everyone!

Shhhh – Can you keep a secret?

I am glad Brady and Madison don’t check this blog! I just have to share something Justin and I are getting them for Christmas. A few months ago I got an email that had a link to this website called Adopted From Russia (http://www.adoptedfromrussia.com/index.html). It has cute things that you can purchase. Justin, Brady, Madison, and I want to learn some basic Russian which is very difficult to do. My thought is, what a better way to learn than through toys? We are getting Madison the talking doll, Kukla. "Kukla" means "doll" in the Russian language. Kukla says five phrases in Russian language - starting with "Privet" (Hello) and continuing with "Ulybnis' " (Give me a Smile). Push her tummy, and you will hear her say "Ya Tebya Lyublyu" (I Love You), followed by "Davai Druzhit'" (Let's Be Friends) and, finally, "Poeegrai So Mnoi" (Play with Me). We are also getting her a copy of Goldilocks and the Three Bears that has both the English and Russian text on the same page.

For Brady, we chose a talking toy Cheburashka which is Russia's most famous and loved cartoon character. Cheburashka, speaks about 20 Russian phrases in a cute childish voice. We are also getting a DVD of the Cheburashka series that we can watch in English or in Russian with English subtitles. We think this will be a great thing to bring along with us whenever we finally get to make the trip back from Russia with our little one!

I wanted to get more books. I have a weakness for children’s books and this is a genre I have never even thought of before. But Justin and I have agreed that we will not go overboard with Christmas this year so I opted not to spend any more money…. Plus I still have to get nesting dolls for them right?!?! :o)

Awareness Video

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. I thought in honor of this month I would try to find things to share that would help me explain the answer to the question that people often ask. Why do you want to adopt? It seems like such a simple question, but the answer is very complex on many levels - and definitly not easy to put into words.

An Adoption Story - The Richt Family

Song to Share

I am not for sure what it is about this song that keeps it stuck in my head but I thought I would just share it for the day's entry. Chris Sligh was a finalist on American Idol's 6th season. He has written this song which is currently doing very well on the Christian music charts. I think if we all emptied ourself of even a portion of our selfishness and pride that we would be amazed at the results. Have a great weekend everyone!

Chris Sligh - Empty Me
From the album Running Back To You

I’ve had just enough
Of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood
I’ve tasted my share
Of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change

Chorus:
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds onto
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

I’ve seen just enough
Of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change

Chorus:

‘Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to You, compared to You
‘Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to You, so I surrender all

Chorus:

Next…

So our packet arrived safe and sound. Wouldn’t you know we were missing a couple of things? Luckily they do not have to be notarized or certified so I will be able to put them in mail tomorrow. And of course our next payment is due with those documents and we didn’t send the check. Here is the information CHI sent as to what we should expect… “We send packages to Russia 2 times a week, Wednesday and Friday. Yours will go whichever day they are ready. It typically takes about 2 days to get there. They will get translated. Depending on how many families’ registration packets are there, it could take anywhere between 1-4 weeks. They are not just translating; they are reviewing your request to send your paperwork to the best region for you. Once you are assigned a Region, I will let you know and you will start working on the region specific documents. For now, I will review your documents and add mine. Mine do need to be Apostiled in the state of MO, so I will be sending them to our Secretary of States office on Tuesday (Nov 11 - Ummm this is Veteran's Day I better email them!). We send to SOS once a week. I will get them back on Thursday (Nov 13). If everything is in order and OK, I will send your documents out on next Friday (Nov 14)."

At this point they say the first trimester of the paperwork pregnancy is complete.

Off they go - another small step

This afternoon Justin and I drove our registration documents to Springfield. I cannot tell you the number of times I checked our folder to make sure I had everything on the checklist I was given. I was driving myself crazy! It was great that Justin was able to drive down with me. They still have one field of corn left to harvest, and he had to leave my dad and Lisle to handle the work while he was gone. Nothing usually gets in the way of harvest progress so you can tell how important this is to the both of us. He wants to be involved the entire step of the way. We found the building (Secretary of State Index Department) easily and did not have to wait in line. The lady saw our stack of papers and said, ummm this is going to take awhile. We weren’t for sure what that meant. Awhile like 5 minutes or awhile like 2 hours? She was off with our papers before we could even ask. My anxiety increased having our documents out of my sight. She returned in about 30 minutes with a fancy sheet with a gold seal attached to each of our documents. It costs $2 per document to have them Apostilled. This time we had 30 documents. There will be more in the future I am sure. So once again I had to verify that she had given us back every single piece of paper. The post office was about 2 blocks down the road so we decided to go ahead and express mail the packet to Children’s Hope so it will arrive before noon tomorrow. I had to check the folder two more times before sealing the envelope. I was becoming compulsive. What if we forgot one??? Sealing that envelope and leaving it behind was rough. There was a lot of hard word put into those silly papers. These papers are going to be representing Justin, Brady, Madison, and I in Russia. This will be the first impression the Russian folks have of the Overstreet family. YIKES!!! No pressure right?!?!? I will anxiously await an email from Pam Bischoff, our program coordinator with CHI, verifying that she has the documents and that everything is there that she needs. I will update this blog with what comes next after this. I THINK I know, but I am going to ask one more time just to make sure the procedures haven’t changed in the last 24 hours. Which believe me is quite possible.

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

New vocabulary word

We finally have all of our registration documents gathered and notorized. This past week I worked frantically to get all of them together. I found out that the newest checklist required one additional marriage certificate so I had to get another copy of ours. I was worried that I would have to drive to Rock Island to get them. Now, because of good old credit cards you can request them over the phone and make payment that way. I was quite relieved. Now Justin and I need to make a trip to Springfield to have the documents apostilled.

Apostille is a French word which means a certification. It is commonly used in English to refer to the legalization of a document for international use under the terms of the 1961 Hague Convention (I'll let you research that one on your own). The Apostille is done by the Secretary of State in the state where the document originated. It basically means that the Secretary of State acknowledges/verifies that the person notarizing your paper is a true notary and that they are currently commissioned with the state.

I am very antsy to get this done. Perhaps Wednesday afternoon we will be making the trip.

Halloween Recap

Madison was excited that Ariel, the ladybug, got to go trick-or-treating with she and Brady on Friday night.


On Saturday, the kids got to put their costumes on again and go to their cousins' birthday party. Brady was an apple bobbing pro.