Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I Surrender

Well its interesting to me how different situations affect different people. I must say I think I have hit a new stage in the emotional process of adopting a child. As you can imagine I was a mess on Monday after getting word that we MAY be experiencing a setback in being reunited with Blake. Tuesday wasn’t much better until about 6:00 pm. When Justin (let me just say he is the most amazing husband and my best friend) got home I just lost it. Tears were streaming down my face, and I was completely wiped out. That was a pivotal point for me. All of the sudden I realized what I needed to do. I need to give up. I am NOT giving up on Blake. I am NOT giving up on preparing our hearts and home for him. I am NOT giving up on staying informed about our adoption process. But I am giving up on trying to stay one step ahead of this process. I am giving up on trying to ‘out-smart’ the procedures that cause you to wait so long. It has become apparent to me that this is all out of my control and there is NOTHING I can do to make it better. Granted, I have said those words before - that I know I am not in control, but this week has forced me to accept what God has been trying to show me all along.

As the night went on, I felt so much relief. The pain is still there. The not knowing is driving me insane, but removing the pressure from myself to try to change all of it has been exactly what I needed. I found myself singing a song about surrendering all. I had no idea what the song was or where it was coming from so I Googled the words that came to mind and found the exact song I was singing. I have uploaded here if you would like to hear it (much better than my singing I must say!)

This afternoon I am heading to a technology conference in St. Charles and will be gone until Friday evening. I will miss Justin, Brady, and Madison but am looking forward to the much needed distraction. Wanna know what I am secretly hoping for???? The last time I was away at a conference is when we got our call for our referral. How incredibly cool and ironic would it be if I got ‘the call’ while I was at this conference. Of course I have been told if I am expecting it then it removes the irony, but still a girl can dream can’t she? :o)

For those that have asked, we have heard nothing - not one word about what to expect next. But for now, that is ok. We are not alone in our wait.


Monday, February 23, 2009

Интернейшнл Чилдренс Аллайнс, Инк.

Wanna take a guess at what the title of this entry means?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Yeah - didn't think so.

Apparently this is the name of our homestudy agency in Russian. If you recall I wrote a quick update about a list that was put out by the Russian Ministry of Education that named Home Study Providers who have not followed through with their post placement reports. We thought we had dodged a bullet by not having our agency on the list. Well, I got a call today from our awesome social worker who decided to review the list again. And as you can guess since I am writing about it - Lifelink IS on the list. They were one of the agencies that were left at the bottom and not translated from Russia to English. We are trying to get our bearings as is everyone else affected. Lifelink is as surprised as I am to be on the list as they have not sent any post placement reports in late nor have been notified of any issues. Of course there are a number of areas where this process can fall apart so it is hard to tell.

I feel bad because initially I just broke down in tears on the phone. How could we have missed this last week? What does all of this mean? I have since got my wits about me a bit and know that I need to take my own advice and go back to 1 Thessalonians 16 that I wrote about on Saturday. Maybe this situation will help us get our papers in front of a judge quicker. I am grasping at straws right now, but I don't want to think of the worst case scenario. To be honest I don't even want to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. I just don't have it in me right now.

I am waiting with what little patience I can muster to hear back from our agency on what is next. From what I gather no one really knows. There is very little information coming from Russia right now on how each region is handling this situation. Plus I found out that today is a holiday in Russia so everyone has the day off. Here is a little info about the said holiday...

The Army Day - Men's Day - February 23: This holiday is celebrated on the 23rd of February. It is the tribute of respect to all the generations of Russian soldiers from the ancient times till nowadays to those who defeated courageously the motherland from invaders. On this day all the masculine representatives from boys to old men receive congratulations and presents and the military men greet each other. Women have a happy opportunity to say the warmest and the sweetest words to their lovers and to please them with signs of attention. (copied from the internet)

I think I need to reread Brady's entry so I can smile again. Isn't he sweet?!?! I can't wait for Blake to meet him and Madison!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Brady's first entry.

HEY it’s brady I want to talk about a time when my sister Madison made a star for Blake. It was made on December 30,2008. Do you want to see it? Take a look.



This is no ordinary wooden star. This star is full of LOVE XOXOXO ;)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Be joyful always.

So this morning I wake up and decide to just randomly read from my bible. It was a great way to start the day when I read the words in 1 Thessalonians 16-18. “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Here are some things I am finding joy in right now related to our journey to bring Blake home. We have all of the ‘just-in-case’ papers ready to send off. We don’t know if the judge would have asked for any of them, but since we had time we thought we would try to stay one step ahead. So next week we will appostille and send off our home study agency’s good standing letter (fixed a date discrepancy); updated license for the counselor that did the phsyc eval (his license was set to expire the end of March); new sex offender search (wanted first and last name and address to appear); new Illinois State Police background checks (wanted to have them notarized differently); new financial statement (had put on our CPA’s letterhead to be more official); and finally our updated home study (adjusted the age range to be up to 5 years old).

Tonight we received a special blanket for Blake. My grandma (MeMa) has made it her mission to make every great grandchild a crocheted blanket. MeMa has 9 children, 16 grandchildren, and 29 great grandchildren – counting Blake. She has been quite busy working on the blankets. I must say, this one is my favorite. I love the colors she chose. Take a look!


I have one more thing I want to share… something that is going to help me keep my sanity for the next month or so. I’ll write about it tomorrow. Time to go cuddle with Brady and Maddie.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nice Surprise!

Boy oh boy could we use some sunshine and warm weather. I think everyone, myself included, is sluggish, frumpy, and feeling tired. In addition, I had been reading on several adoption blogs that various forms have to be redone to fix either minor errors or to meet a new standard. This of course is par for the course for Russian adoptions so I wasn’t too surprised. Then our agency sent out their regular update that outlines their monthly stats and various news from Russia. Here is one of the paragraphs.
“We recently received notice from Russia that every region throughout the country is in the process of intensifying their requirements towards any documents involving international adoptions. This action is based on recommendation from the Russian Supreme Court, and was sent to all regional courts throughout Russia.”
Well isn’t that just peachy. Many people often ask, if there are so many children in orphanages why does the government make it so hard to adopt. I have different theories and thoughts but to be quite honest I just don’t know.

Now to end on a happy note. Last night when we got home there was a package waiting for us. It was from our dear friends the Pitmans. They are one of the sweet families that took us under their wings while we were in Vlad. They adopted 3 siblings and we thoroughly enjoyed our time with them and hope to visit them in St. Louis this summer. They sent us a few things for our trip back to Russia plus a couple of pictures.



The movies and cd’s are ones that they are passing on to help Blake with the transition. While of course it is important to immerse him in English so that he can learn it quickly, there is only so much a little person can take. It will be a relief for him to hear things in his native language as he is making the transition home. Justin and I have decided that we will write the Pitman’s name and the date they officially became a family followed by our name and date and we will then pass the videos on to another family waiting to make trip number two. Hopefully it will start a tradition and touch the hearts of others the way Eric and Becky have touched ours.


You can see they also included fun items for Blake. Brady thought the Spiderman toothbrush would be a big hit with the Blakester (that is what he calls him). I am also very appreciative of the Charmin! Not until you have traveled in places like Vlad can you truly appreciate a travel roll of toilet paper!

Becky and Eric, thank you so much for the pleasant surprise and thank you even more for the support you have given us. We hope to in turn do the same for others.

Update: For other adopting families that are waiting we feel sick to our stomachs about 'the list' that came out this week. (Basically there is a list of about 200 agencies that have not been filing the post placement reports on time or at all and the Russian government is now not accepting some/all paperwork from those agencies). I am completely relieved that LifeLink and Children's Hope are not on the list, but I have read many blogs of people that are hurting and worried because their agencies were listed. Hang in there everyone. We have to remember for us the process is about the children - even though others seem to forget this sometime.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

8 ½ Months Pregnant

I am a firm believer that stress does crazy things to you both physically and emotionally. About three weeks ago I wasn’t feeling well and was an emotional basket case. My dear husband just looked at me and said, “You know what – you are 8 ½ months pregnant with a Russian 3 year old. What do you expect?” I actually took great comfort in this comment (after rolling my eyes at him of course). I have been so incredibly blessed to have gone through pregnancy and child birth two times. And I must tell you there are some similarities with those experiences and our adoption journey. The most prevalent similarity for me is the distraction and disconnect. For those women who have experienced pregnancy you know what I am talking about. By about month 8 I was scatter brained. I would misplace my keys, forget what I was saying midsentence, etc… My mind was on the soon to be birth of our child. I wondered how much our lives were going to change and if we were prepared for what was in store for us. I have those same feelings now. I can barely concentrate on a task for more than a few minutes. I wonder how much our life is going to change when Blake arrives home. I wonder even more how he is going to adjust to the change that he is going to experience. I have to force myself to focus on tasks at hand which are super important so that I will have things in order when we get ‘the call’.

Here is how the adoption journey is different than pregnancy. After giving birth to your child you hold them, love them, and bring them home with you. Even if the little ones are not ready to go home you get to visit them each and every day and cuddle with them. With a Russian adoption the paperwork leading up to getting your referral is the pregnancy. You get news of the referral (labor pains). Then you make trip number one and lay eyes on your son or daughter (the birth). From this point on the similarities stop. You now have to do the unspeakable. You have to leave the country without your child and wait. And you have no idea of how long you will wait. And you do not know if your child will remember you or if he is sick or if he is scared at night. You ache to hold him, and instead of walking to the nursery and scooping them up from their crib the only thing you can do is pray and ask God to quiet your mind and fill your heart.

While I find that I am struggling these days, I am also so incredibly thankful that Justin and I didn’t ignore what was placed on our heart. I know with every ounce of my being that Blake was intended to be a member of our family since his September 30th, 2005 birthday. God was patient with us and allowed us to take this journey and grow in our faith so that we can withstand this test and the many more I am sure will come. So I again must remember that I cannot try to take control of our situation and that God’s timing will be impeccable.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Creative Family

I find myself looking for 'signs' in about everything. I know I am being ridiculous, but I can't help myself. Our photo album we but together for court finally arrived yesterday and today my electronic translator was returned to me. My hopes get heighten a bit... hey perhaps now that we have this stuff we will get some information. It usually doesn't take me long to squash my own hopes and positive feelings, but they sure are fun while they last.

Speaking of fun. I just have to say that there are many people in my family that are so craftsey, talented, and resourceful. I don't know why I didn't get any of those genes, but I am thankful that they are so giving and willing to share their talents. My Aunt Betty Ann lives in Texas. She is obsessed - ok very fond of - turtles. Yesterday she shipped a package to Brady, Madison,and Blake. Each item is made out of lodge type fabric that matches Blake's room and had a little note attached.

This is a pillow for Brady so that he and Blake would have something to match.

This is a little purse with some money inside so that Madison can take her brothers out to lunch when Blake arrives home. She thinks this is soooo cool!

This is Brady and Madison holding Blake's turtle pillow and puppet. Too cute!

I have another aunt - Aunt Cheryl that lives close by that started a tradition of helping Brady and Madison with their school Valentine's. I personally think she was taking pity on them becuase she knew their mom was hopeless in this catergory - lol. Anyway she suprised them with a cute container filled with candy that they can use for their pencils and such later on.

Have a great weekend. Be sure to tell the special people in your life Ya Tiba Loo Bloo on Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Silly calendar!

Ok - I have written before that I don't change my daily calendar that often so every few days I flip it to get it up to the current date. I just had to laugh to myself when I read today's quote on my Purpose Drive Life calendar. After yesterday's entry I guess this was quite timely.

Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. You are always being tested. God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, and even the weather!

Hmmmmmm - guess I might not be acing that test right now!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Is it ok to vent? Even a little?

I would love to be able to use this blog to just vent and let out my frustrations and then go back and delete them when I am all done throwing my fit. Unfortunately I am all too aware of the fact that you can’t simply delete content on the internet – that it is always out there somewhere and you just never know who will see it. I battle with wanting to whine, complain, be angry, and display all sorts of negative feelings. I am fully aware that is not how I am supposed to handle any of life’s situations. I know I am supposed to set an example for others. I know I am supposed to be a bundle of joy for Brady and Madison. I know. I know. I know. I just need tiny answers. I am fully expecting not to have a court date soon. But can’t I please, please, please have even minute updates? I do know that I am not the only family waiting. I do know that they say they are moving as fast as possible. Are our papers still in Moscow? Are our papers close to leaving Moscow? Does everyone realize that those ‘papers’ hold the power to reunite a family? Yes, I know that there are families that have been waiting months for a referral. And yes, I know there are families that traveled before us that are waiting on a court date. Yes, I know that we have ‘only’ waited two months and the average wait is four to six. Yes, I know! There are some that are reading this can totally relate. Sometimes a person doesn’t want to be strong, put together, happy, focused etc… Sometimes they need to lay it all out there – make themselves vulnerable and say… their heart aches. So I guess won’t whine or throw a fit or write an entry I regret. I’ll continue to do what we have been told to do the whole process…
wait.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Weekend Update

Here are a few pictures from the last few days. Not much to report on the adoption front. I am going to send an email to our agency tomorrow to find out if our papers have left Moscow yet.

Brady & Madison celebrated the 100th day of school on Friday.

Madison & her friend Emily at Sunday’s dance competition.


Sydney, Brady & Madison at Syd’s Ratatouille Birthday Party.

Brady – our Guitar Hero junkie!

Madison showing off her hip hop move.


Update: Our blogging friend Amy got her court date today!!!! Congratulations Amy. We hope to meet you in Vlad!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Almost 2 Months Ago – Ya Tibya Lo Bloo

How appropriate for the ticker at the top to be a little slow-moving turtle! Close to two months ago we met Blake in the Artyem baby home. We feel like our wheels are spinning faster than we could have ever imagined and yet we are getting nowhere. To be fair to the process things are going according to plan, but unfortunately it is not OUR plan. Justin and I miss Blake more than we ever dreamed possible. We are so relieved that we feel such a strong connection to him and that we know he is the missing member of our family. It is harder than many can imagine having a part of your heart left halfway across the world. Today I wanted to share with you a song that we heard while we were at the Vlad Inn. Here is a little background information.

Wednesday night of our stay in Vlad all of the adoptive families got an invitation to attend a gathering in the White Rabbit room. A man by the name of John Simmons graciously hosted the evening and shared with us his family’s amazing adoptive story. You can see pictures and hear more on their website – White Knight Publishing. They have published a book called the Marvelous Journey Home about a little girl adopted from Russia. In addition they produced and published a song entitled “Ya Tibya Lo Bloo” which translates to I Love You in English. John gave me permission to share this song on the blog (and I finally figured out how to upload it to Blogger). Listen and enjoy.



Blake,
We can't wait for your marvelous journey home.
Ya Tiby Lo Bloo,
MaMa and PaPa

Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Mystery Machine

I just have to say that you just never know what fun and exciting things will be going on with the Overstreet’s! On Friday night I was completely prepared for a night home with the family. I was actually going to workout, watch movies with the kids, catch up on laundry etc… At about 5:30ish I get a call from my dear husband asking me if I would want to bring Brady and Madison into Macomb and maybe grab dinner. I said no, not really. I had just put on my workout stuff and had hoped to get things done around the house. He then goes on to tell me that he would like for me to bring his checkbook to him if at all possible before six o’clock. Hmmmmm. What is this all about? Well much to my surprise our friend Levi (thanks Levi!) called him that morning and said he saw this awesome conversion van at a local dealership. Justin has mentioned that when Blake arrives, it would be nice to have an older vacation vehicle – for family road trips. Well I guess this was a deal he just couldn’t pass up. This is a 1988 Ventura Conversion Van complete with original curtains, venetian blinds, and faux wood accents throughout. Justin thinks it is nostalgic and the best bargain of the century. Brady and Madison think that Dad is like the coolest thing on earth. I am just shocked. Are we really going to drive hundreds of miles away from home in that thing?!?! It is totally going to be the Overstreet’s Lampoon Vacation. They have now named the van the Mystery Machine. Ohhh the memories we will create.

And it gets even better… Justin and I went to a fundraising dinner Saturday night (thanks Jason and Amber Duncan) and had a great time. Katie and Levi came over to babysit for us. When we got home, Brady and Madison had made their bed in the Mystery Machine (it is in our heated garage) and had fallen asleep. They truly think that there is nothing cooler right now than the ‘mini RV’ that their hero (Dad) brought home. I have to admit that it is so cute how much enjoyment they are getting out of this – for now. Wait until they are teenagers and dad is still making them do roadtrips in the 1988 Mystery Machine!

I don’t think this picture does the curtains and wood panel justice. If you want to experience the Mystery Machine up close and personal – just give us a call! :o)