Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Is it ok to vent? Even a little?

I would love to be able to use this blog to just vent and let out my frustrations and then go back and delete them when I am all done throwing my fit. Unfortunately I am all too aware of the fact that you can’t simply delete content on the internet – that it is always out there somewhere and you just never know who will see it. I battle with wanting to whine, complain, be angry, and display all sorts of negative feelings. I am fully aware that is not how I am supposed to handle any of life’s situations. I know I am supposed to set an example for others. I know I am supposed to be a bundle of joy for Brady and Madison. I know. I know. I know. I just need tiny answers. I am fully expecting not to have a court date soon. But can’t I please, please, please have even minute updates? I do know that I am not the only family waiting. I do know that they say they are moving as fast as possible. Are our papers still in Moscow? Are our papers close to leaving Moscow? Does everyone realize that those ‘papers’ hold the power to reunite a family? Yes, I know that there are families that have been waiting months for a referral. And yes, I know there are families that traveled before us that are waiting on a court date. Yes, I know that we have ‘only’ waited two months and the average wait is four to six. Yes, I know! There are some that are reading this can totally relate. Sometimes a person doesn’t want to be strong, put together, happy, focused etc… Sometimes they need to lay it all out there – make themselves vulnerable and say… their heart aches. So I guess won’t whine or throw a fit or write an entry I regret. I’ll continue to do what we have been told to do the whole process…
wait.

4 comments:

Joel and Clarion said...

Hey! We can so relate! We waited 6 months to be reunited with our boys. You are at the venting and frustration stage. Shortly after that I believe come grief and hopelessness when you cry all the time. Then joy and ecstasy when you get the call that says you are going back. Just relish this time because your family will never be the same again. We are praying for you.

Anonymous said...

You show remarkable restraint. I think I whined & complained everyday during our trip. It probably wasn't pleasant to read but it helped. No one understands the torturous wait like other AP's.

We need to do lunch soon.

Nancy said...

YES! You can vent! We're in the same boat.

Amy said...

Heather, you can vent ANY time you want!!! I'll always listen. I know it's not "PC" and blogs are raved about for being rays of sunshine and not whiney. HOWEVER, there is also something to be said for keeping it REAL. Every emotion you are feeling is real and yours.

I am hopiong for good news for you SOON!!