Friday, December 12, 2008

Mixed emotions

It has been an exhausting day. I am sitting on the floor of the Seoul airport completely worn out. I am so excited to return home and be with Brady and Madison. We long to be surrounded by our own culture – people who speak the same as we do, the holiday cheer, etc… But still our heart aches for the little guy today. It was yet another amazing visit. I believe I mentioned yesterday that we were all sick of the visiting room. God must have known we were at our wits end. When we got to the baby home today we found out that the room was having a window repaired and we would have to go to the ‘gymnasium’ to play. Yahooooo. We were super excited to see the other parts of the baby home and have a different backdrop for all of our snapshots. While we were up stairs, another group of children came up to play. It was good for us to see the other children and how our lil guy interacted with them. First he gently backed them all away from us. He was not interested in sharing us with them. He then stacked all of the items we were playing with right between Justin and I. Once he was sure the things were safe from the other kids he went over and played with them. He was very gentle and gave one boy a hug.

Lana, our interpreter, came back in a bit earlier as we had requested. She helped us explain that we would be coming back for him soon. She took time to go through the photo album with him again and spoke to him about Brady and Madison. Lana explained that we were going home to get his room ready for him and to prepare Brady and Madison for his arrival and that we would be back soon. We were able to leave the album, a little blanket and pillow that my mom had made for him, and a disposable camera for the caregivers to take pictures for us. There is no guarantee that we will get these items back but we hope so. He gave us big hugs as we left. I turned my back so that he did not see the tears running down my face. I already miss him so much.

Back at the hotel we said our goodbyes to the Pittman family. They will always have a special place in our heart. They were our go-to guys for many of our questions. Their children are so great and are lucky to have Becky and Eric as parents. Justin and I adore Max. We think we were so drawn to him because we loved to listen to him speak Russian and because he is only 5 we could actually understand a few words :o) We had lots of good laughs. First time parents are a good source of entertainment! We also said goodbye to the Cajuns – Carol and Carl and their son. We look forward to staying in touch with them and watching their son grow over the next several years. It was a special experience to have spent time with parents of a child from our guy’s same group.

So the wait begins again. We will be back to the frustrating paper race and having our patience tested. We will pray for our little guy night and day and think about him constantly. Hug your family members today and remember how special the people God has placed in your life really are!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

My eyes are tearing for you as I picture you having to leave him behind for now. But what a wonderful gift...to feel so attached and connected to this lil guy after a few short days. Now that's a blessing!!!! And a blessing that he soon will join you in your home in the near future and get to wake up knowing he is safe with his Mommy, Daddy, Big Bro, and Big Sis!

Carol Anderson said...

What a great thing you and Justin are doing!! This little boy will be very lucky to be a part of your family. Have a safe trip back to the U.S.

Anonymous said...

oh, Heather and Justin, I am mixed with emotion for you! here I am with my brand new 7 weeks old babies and the joy I feel everytime I pick them and hold them, I am so emotional already and to read this story and be able to be apart of it... I hope we get to meet this little guy... and I hope you continue to blog about his transistion in your home too!

We are praying daily for you... that God continues to blow you away with his goodness and timing and the miracles that He is doing in this whole process that they continue too!


aly and JR

debbiemetzger said...

Heather and Justin,

Reading this entry brings back so many feelings of when we had to leave our Danielle at the baby home last April. We too had our son back home so we were also anxious to come back home to be with him. It is very bitter sweet. I think the waiting to go back is the hardest part of the Russian adoption experience. Now the adoption process has become a real person and you can't wait to bring them home to love them full time. Your faith and the never ending paper trail will help you pass the time.

God Bless you and your family

Tony and Dawn said...

Glad you had such a good trip. Keep yourself busy when you get home because it will get difficult after about month number 3. Good luck and God bless -

Eric & Becky said...

Justin and Heather,
We miss you already! We are sitting here drinking a bottle of wine after putting the kids to bed talking about how much help you guys were. WE NEED YOU BACK HERE!!!! We have to giggle though because they refer to you guys in the White Rabbit as the "Hot Farmer and his Beautiful Wife"! Seriously, we are so glad that we met you and pray that your journey back to your new son is short. He is so lucky to be getting such great parents.