Day 8/10 Insightful Visit

Praise God for sunshine. I am not kidding you. Yesterday was sooo much better that the previous two days. The sun was out and there were people moving around. It made things seem so much less ominous. We started the day by chatting with Brady and Madison. We love seeing their faces and hearing about the events of their day. Each time we talk to them though it gets harder and harder not to cry. We can’t wait to squeeze them! We then made breakfast in our room. After that I went upstairs to walk on the treadmill and Justin headed outside for a stroll. When he came back, he said that he ran into Ryan and Sandy and that they had told him of another place we could walk. So back out we went. For those of you that stay at the Vlad Inn, don’t be afraid to explore! We walked down the tracks a bit and went into the gates of the big yellow deserted mansion looking place. There was a guard there, but he completely ignored us. It was a fantastic place to walk.

We had our visit in the afternoon, and we got to take the kids outside today for the first time ever! It was fun to watch them play on the equipment and chase the stray cats. I was also very happy that when we went to help them get their layers of clothes on, Justin was able to snap a few more pictures of the other children in their group, and we have more of the little girl that I am intrigued with. So here is the insightful part of the visit… Blake kept leading us toward the parking place where the van was. He wanted to get in the van. We lead him away from it and then he made his way back. When we came upon it a third time Irina spoke to him. She told us that he wants to go. She explained to him that we would be there on Monday to take him with us for good. When it was time to go back in, we got some adorable pictures of Victoria and Blake on the steps. But there is something very different about these pictures than all of our others. He is not smiling. Blake was sad about going back inside. On one hand it made us sooo incredibly sad that yet again we had to leave him there. On the other hand we took some comfort in knowing that he is ready to leave. After playing in the visiting room for a bit and having a few fruit loops, cookies, M&Ms, and of course lots of water he was back to smiling. Under his outside layers he had on an obnoxious shirt that had girls all over it and the words Girl Part written in a number of places. He has a runny nose and his glands are swollen. When it was time for us to go, Justin and I felt for the first time that he really gets that we are HIS momma and papa.

Something else I wanted to share, especially for those that are or will be going through this emotional process… You begin to over analyze, second guess, and doubt a number of things along the way. One thing that Justin and I began thinking about on this trip was about the trauma Blake might experience by being removed from the orphanage. Keep in mind, that unlike many of the children, Blake was not removed from an abusive situation. His mother terminated her rights at birth. At first Justin and I were thankful that she recognized she could not provide for him and that he didn’t experience some of the horrible things (other than orphanage life of course) that some children have to undergo. Well something clicked in us and we began to think that we may be causing the ‘trauma’ by removing him from the only place he has known. Well as is typical of this entire process, God has done two things to quite our hearts and minds. First he let us experience today that Blake is more than ready to leave with us. The other is the insight we have gained about orphanage life. In just a few months, Blake would have been moved from the baby home he is in now to another orphanage for older children. We cannot imagine how this little guy would have survived that move with all of the older children. And if he did survive, his little heart would have become hardened and callous for sure. He is ready, we are ready, and Brady and Madison are ready for us FINALLY to be a family of five.

Today is our last visit. It is Friday and we will go in the afternoon. Just like last weekend there will be no visits on Saturday or Sunday. On Monday, we will make the drive to the Artem baby home for the very last time! I am almost in tears right now with the joy and relief that brings! I will leave you with a couple of pictures from yesterday. The first is of Blake and PaPa walking around the outside of the baby home. The other is of Blake and Victoria peaking out after one of the stray cats escaped them.